


Strong At The Broken Places - Extras

by littlefandom



Series: Broken Places [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Episode: s03e10 Erchomai, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Alec Lightwood, M/M, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Isabelle Lightwood, POV Jace Wayland, POV Magnus Bane, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s03e10 Erchomai, Protective Siblings, Sleep, Worried Jace Wayland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-07-07 17:30:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15912954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlefandom/pseuds/littlefandom
Summary: This is a series of extras for my fic Strong At The Broken Places.#1: Izzy’s POV of the finale and her talk with Magnus on the balcony (mention in Chapter III), set during Chapter I.#2: Jace reflects about that terrible night and how much he’s hurt everyone he cares about. Set during Chapter III, his POV of the talk with Magnus in the kitchen.#3: Magnus finds Alec asleep on the couch and discovers that his boyfriend still hasn’t gave up on getting his magic back. Set after Chapter III, mention in Chapter IV.#4: Alec and Magnus have a conversation about Alec returning to the haunts after losing his job. Set after Chapter V, mentioned in Chapter VI.#5: Jace’s and Izzy’s mission to get water from Lake Lyn in Idris. Set during Chapter X and Chapter XI.#6: Alec’s family worries about him after they find out what happened to Magnus. Set during Chapter XIV.





	1. This can’t be happening

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Fist of all, thank you so much for all the love you're showing to my stories. You all are amazing, and since Strong At The Broken Places reached 1000 hits yesterday, I decided to write a little something for you in a form of thanks :) Again, thank you all so much, I really wasn't expecting that much positive feedback, truly your comments make me melt sometimes :)
> 
> Izzy’s POV of the finale and her talk with Magnus on the balcony (mention in Chapter III), set during Chapter I.
> 
> Enjoy this small extra!

Izzy has no idea what’s going on.

After she heard the explosion, she needed to check what happened. She ran like hell, to find her brother and friend on the half crumbled rooftop holding each other in a tight embrace.

“Jace…” She starts carefully, and when he turns around she sees that it’s the real Jace. Tears are streaming down his face and he’s barely holding on his feet.

She runs towards him and catches him in her arms, hugging him tightly as she feels more tears wetting her shirt.

Then she looks at Simon. He doesn’t look any better. He’s shaking, pacing from one side of the roof to the other, trying to calm himself down and clearly failing.

She pulls back slightly from Jace as she feels his breathing returning to normal rate, and walks over to Simon.

She tries to touch his shoulder lightly, but then she feels him flinch, so she takes a step back to compose herself and think.

And then it hits her.

“Where’s Clary?” She asks and immediately feels her own tears gathering up in her eyes at the mention of her friend’s name. Because if she was here, and now she’s gone…

Her name seems to bring a new wave of tears to both Simon and Jace, but it’s the vampire who speaks first.

“I killed her.”

Izzy’s eyes widen in shock because _no_ , this is not true. Whatever Simon thinks, it wasn’t his fault, she’s sure of it.

“The explosion…” She starts.

“Lilith is gone. This thing” Simon points at his forehead. “banished her and caused the explosion. And now Clary…” A painful sob escapes his throat and he’s not able to carry on.

“Simon, we don’t know if she’s dead for sure.” Izzy tries, because she needs to try to be hopeful. She refuses to believe that her friend is dead.

“So what else happened to her, huh?” Simon snaps. “It’s all my fault, I-“ He breaks in tears again and this time, when Isabelle puts her arms around him he goes willingly.

At that, Luke bursts into the roof breathless, looking around rapidly.

“Where’s Clary?” He asks when he doesn’t spot her anywhere, but no one answers. Izzy tries to stay strong but feels the tears slowly escaping her eyes, when Luke tries more firmly. “Where is my daughter?”

“We don’t know.” Izzy answers pulling away from Simon to face Luke. “The explosion I-… she might be anywhere.”

Luke looks confused, but the realization slowly creeps onto his face, and he clearly doesn’t allow any other explanation, that the one where Clary is missing.

“Then we better start looking for her.” Luke doesn’t let emotions get in his way, he’s only focus now is Clary.

He’s ready to leave the roof and the boys start to follow, but then Izzy is reminded of another thing.

“Where’s Alec?” She doesn’t direct her question at someone exactly, but all everyone turns to her, and she can see the confusion in Luke’s and Simon’s eyes before her gaze wanders to Jace, and total different emotions paint his face.

 _Panic, fear and guilt_. That’s all she can make out, but she’s sure there’s more.

“Jace,” she takes a step towards her brother and asks slowly. “where is he?”

“I…” Jace struggles. His eyes can’t find focus on any point as he tries to continue. “In the alley.” Is all he manages and in the next second Izzy is making her way past him to the exit, terrified of what she may see there considering the emotions on her brother’s face.

“You go find Clary,” She turns to the rest when she reaches the exit. “Let me know immediately when you find anything.” She takes a moment to breathe. “I need to check on Alec.”

 

She’s running to the alley and already feels tears falling down her cheeks, but when she takes the last turn to finally reach the place, they fall down with stronger force.

Her brother is lying down on the cold ground, arrow sticking from his chest. He’s surrounded by Magnus and his friend Catarina.

“Alec…”

For a moment she can’t move. She feels paralyzed, because _this can’t be happening_. It’s her big brother, he can’t leave her. From her spot now she’s not sure if Alec is moving or if he’s conscious, so when she finally feels she’s able to move, she makes her way to reach him.

When she kneels next to Magnus she puts her hand lightly on Alec’s and all she can feel is cold.

This terrifies her.

“What happened?” She asks and feels her voice break. Tears are streaming like waterfalls down her cheeks, but she doesn’t care right now.

Before she gets her answer, Catraina who’s pouring her magic into Alec’s chest speaks.

“You two can discuss this whole thing later, we need to get Alec to the loft, now.”

At that, she lifts Alec with her magic and creates a portal. Izzy gets up instantly and tries to follow, but then she feels Magnus falling down before he even gets to fully stand up, so she catches him with all the strength she has left and walks them both through the portal.

 

Isabelle knows something is wrong with Magnus.

As they arrive at the loft and Catarina continues healing Alec, Izzy makes her way to Magnus, who seems to be shaking in the armchair he’s seated in.

She asks what happened again, and Magnus struggles with the answer. As she’s holding his trembling hands he tells her something about Alec’s fight with the Owl…so that’s why Jace looked so guilty.

But then Magnus talks about how he couldn’t save Alec, and she knows something isn’t right. She tries to reassure him, because she’s sure he did the best he can. It’s about Alec after all.

Then she leaves the room to call her mom.

“Isabelle,” she clearly hears relief in her voice as she picks up. “Is everyone okay? Where are you sweetheart?”

Izzy feels another wave of tears floating up as he listens to the concern in her mother’s voice.

“Isabelle? Are you there?”

“Yes, I...” She sniffles. “Mom, it’s Alec.”

“What happened? Where are you?” Maryse asks and Izzy can hear some noises at the other line announcing that her mom is already up on her feet, probably gathering her things to get ready to leave.

“We’re at the loft.” She answers, her voice hoarse from crying.

“I’m on my way.” With that Maryse hangs up.

 

She spends a few more minutes in front of the bedroom door to compose herself before she enters again. Catarina left in the meantime, so it's only Magnus and her now.

Alec looks much better and Izzy smiles at him when from the doorway.

“He looks so peaceful.” She whispers as she makes her way to the bed and sits on its edge, right in front of Magnus. She brushes Alec’s hair out of his face lightly and then looks up, right into Magnus’ eyes.

It’s time for her to get some answers.

“Magnus, what happened to your magic?”

Magnus looks back at her, mouth slightly open as he tries to find his words to explain. But before he gets to say anything, her mother is entering the bedroom.

“Alec… my boy.” He rushes to his side, eyes focused on Alec, hovering over his face and chest.

Then she pulls Isabelle into a tight hug and kisses her head lightly.

“I’ll give you guys a minute, I need some air.” Magnus says and moves from his spot next to the bed, to leave the bedroom.

“Isabelle, are you okay?” Her mom asks when they pull back.

“I’m fine mom.” She says and smiles a little.

“What happened to your brother?” Maryse turns her focus back to Alec.

“There was a fight,” Izzy starts, but doesn’t really get into the details. Not now. “he got injured, but he’ll be fine.”

“Thank the Angel.” Her mom exhales.

They stay like this for a minute or two. Maryse with her arms around her daughter, both of their gazes wandering to Alec down on the bed.

“Mom, I need to talk to Magnus.” Izzy states after another minute.

“Of course, but is something wrong?” Maryse asks concerned.

“I don’t know.” Izzy replies honestly as she gets up from the bed, smiles at her mom and turns to leave.

 

She finds Magnus on the balcony. Shoulders tensed, arms locked tightly on his chest.

“Hi,” she says softly as the cold night air tucks her in. “How are you doing?”

“Been better.” Magnus exhales and turns to her smiling sadly.

She puts her arm on his shoulder and a moment later feels him covering it with his own palm. They just stand like this, looking down on New York city, and for a moment Isabelle forgets what they were supposed to talk about.

But she still needs answers.

“When you said,” Izzy starts the most gently as she can. “that you couldn’t do anything.” She sees his eyes turning even more sad. “Magnus, why couldn’t you heal Alec?”

He exhales shakily then and turns to face her, but doesn't meet her eyes. 

“Isabelle I…” He takes another deep breath. “I gave my magic up to save Jace.”

Izzy just looks at him with eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

Did Magnus really sacrifice part of himself for Jace? She’ll never be able to thank him enough for that. Not only for freeing Jace, but also protecting Alec from the pain killing his Parabatai would cause him.

So she just puts her arms around him as she feels him shaking again.

“Thank you.” She whispers into his neck. “Magnus, you saved as all. Thank you.”

When they pull back Magnus wipes his cheeks and laughs hollowly.

“Okay, now tell me what about the others? Is everyone okay?”

Izzy opens her mouth but doesn’t actually know where to start. Should he tell him about Clary? He’s suffering enough to burden him with this now, isn’t he?

As she’s about to start, Maryse shows up at the balcony door.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt” She says gently. “but Alec just woke up and he wants to speak to you Magnus.” She smiles softly noticing the traces of tears on his cheeks.

“Sure, I’m coming.” Magnus gives Izzy a look that says _we’ll get back to that_ , and rushes through the door.

Then Izzy turns to face the city below and feels Maryse’s arm around her shoulders. She leans onto her side and closes her eyes for a few seconds.

She knows she needs to tell them everything. But for now, she just lets go, feeling save in her mother’s embrace.

Just for a moment.


	2. Better than thinking in silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace reflects about that terrible night and how much he’s hurt everyone he cares about. Set during Chapter III, his POV of the talk with Magnus in the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strong At The Broken Places reached 2000 hits! Thank you so much for the support and your lovely words <3 Here is another extra, this time from Jace's POV.

Jace tries not to let any feelings in.

He can’t.

If he did, he would break.

With everything that has ever happened to him, losing his parents, thinking that Valentine is his father, finding out about being a Herondale, _dying_. This feel a thousand times worse.

Clary is gone, and it’s his fault. All of this, is his fault. He was weak, still is. His heart breaks a little bit more, everything an image of Clary is recalling itself in his brain. It’s crumbled, but still manages to crack further.

Is she dead? He wants to believe that no, she’s not. But what if she is? What is now, by believing, he’s giving himself false hope? He’s sure he won’t survive losing her again. Doesn’t matter if it’s only in his head.

The things he’s done… He could feel everything, begged the Owl to stop, but it didn’t matter. No one could hear him, all they saw was Jace, walking around, possessing these mundanes. Innocent people.

He can’t sleep. He knows he won’t get any rest tonight. He shouldn’t be here, as much as Magnus’ guest room’s bed is comfortable, he doesn’t deserves it. He should be out there looking for Clary. Trying to fix at least a bit of what he destroyed.

So he gets up and wanders to the balcony, carefully, quietly not to wake anyone. His family deserves rest after what they’ve been through.

 _How can they not blame him_? He thinks when the cold night air is engulfing his skin. _How can Alec not blame him?_

His brother was using literally what might have been his last words to make sure Jace didn’t torture himself with this. He never deserved Alec, not as a brother, not as a Parabatai. All he does is continue to hurt him in more ways.

And Alec is still there. Cleaning up his messes, one by one. This one is something Jace needs to fix himself. That’s the only way he can redeem himself.

Or at least he thinks so for now.

It’s quiet on the balcony now, in the middle of the night. After today, it should feel soothing, but it doesn’t. The silence gives Jace more time to think. And this is the last think he wants to do now.

Then he hears some noises coming from the inside. And as much as he doesn’t want to be around anyone now, it’s still better than thinking in silence.

He makes his way back into the apartment, and spots Magnus, moving franticly around the kitchen.

“Is everything alright?” He asks concerned, and the Warlock, well former Warlock turns to face him.

“Everything is fine.” Magnus’ voice sounds hoarse, so he repeats. “Fine.”

And as Jace takes him in, he can see that it's not true, and that he clearly is exhausted.

And who would blame him.

As much as Jace can try to fix everything he can about this mess, Magnus is something he doesn’t know how to help with. And he hates it, because what he did for him… it’s huge, and Jace is pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to do something as big for anyone.

He thanked him, and it sounded stupid. It is stupid, because how can a dumb ‘thank you’ fix anything. It’ll never be enough, Jace will never be able to work hard enough and put this back together.

He spots a bowl in the sink, water already spilling out of it, and he wonders what is going on so he asks.

“So, what are you doing?”

“It’s just…” Magnus turns the tap off and sighs. “Alec has a fever, I just need something to cool him down, and I don’t have any medicine here.”

Jace is pretty sure his expression turns to fear and worry, because if there’s something wrong with Alec… no he needs to be fine.

His hand discreetly goes to the Parabatai rune on his hips, but he can’t feel much. He’s constantly been feeling these waves of distress and sorrow, but he thought it was just himself not Alec. By the angel, even now he’s still failing him.

He isn’t used to feeling Alec so clearly again yet. When he was under the Owl control everything felt dimed.

“Is he okay? Why does he have a fever? Is something-“ Jace’s words come out fast, worry overcoming him. But then Magnus speaks calmly, or at least the most composed he can.

“I think it’s just the way his body is coping with…well everything that’s happened tonight.” Jace’s gaze falls at his feet. Now it seems that no matter what anyone says, it’s all a reminder of the terrible night. “Look, Jace-“

He can’t stand Magnus’ soothing tone. Not when it’s his fault that he lost everything. He should be the one at least trying to comfort Magnus, not the other way.

“Does he need anything? I can go and bring something-“

To have something to do would be great, he can go get anything Alec needs, he’ll walk to the end of the Earth to make him feel better, after all the pain that he’s caused him.

But before he gets to do anything, Magnus interrupts.

“No, Jace it’s fine. I’m sure he’ll be okay in no time. You go try to get some sleep.”

 _Sleep?_ It’s the last thinks he wants now, every time he closes his eyes there’s a face of a person who he hurt appearing before his eyelids. Either the mundanes, or Alec, or Magnus, or Clary…

But before he gets to protest, Magnus is quickly grabbing some cloth from the kitchen counter and heading back to the bedroom.

Jace wants to say some many things to him. But doesn’t know how. ‘Thank you’ isn’t enough, ‘I’m sorry‘ sounds even worse. He sighs in frustration, turning on his heel and coming back to the guest room.

There still will be plenty times for talking. Right now, he needs to let Magnus take care of Alec. Because it’s been proven to him way too many times, that he can’t do it himself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :) I really wanted to show how guilty Jace feels after what happened. I hope will get to see some glimpse of that on the show.


	3. Sleep never comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus finds Alec asleep on the couch and discovers that his boyfriend still hasn’t gave up on getting his magic back. Set after Chapter III, mention in Chapter IV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :)  
> Back with some extra, that didn't make it to the main story. This time from Magnus' POV, because we all still need some Malec feels.

When Magnus wakes up in the middle of the night and doesn’t find the warmth of Alec’s body next to his, panic raises in his chest.

His palms get sweaty and he feels himself start shaking slightly. He tries to slowly get out of bed, telling his mind to stop dropping him the worst case scenarios, when there might be nothing to worry about.

It doesn’t help.

He rushes to the door of the bedroom. His hands slips from the doorknob in first attempt to get them open, but finally he manages to do it.

Maybe Alec can’t sleep, and is wearied with another nightmares. Magnus wouldn’t be surprised. He himself hasn’t slept through the whole night since that terrible one. But still, it’s strange for Alec to just leave. He usually wants to talk about it.

He just hopes that he’s okay, because if anything happened to him…

_Don’t stand here and go check._ His mind finally gives him some good advice, so he listens and makes his way towards the leaving room.

If Alec is bothered with something, most of the times he heads to the balcony, he claims that the night air clears his mind and cools him off. But when Magnus makes his way through the living room, he spots his Shadowhunter on the couch, sleeping sweetly, safe and sound.

Magnus breathes out a sigh of relief, but still doesn’t get why would Alec leave to sleep on the couch. Until he spots the stack of books lied on a coffee table.

He picks up the one that’s open, the one that Alec probably fell asleep reading and goes through a few pages, searching for what his boyfriend might be looking for. If he told him, Magnus would be more than happy to help him with some research. Maybe there’s another demon on the loose and they need to identify it? Or maybe-

But when his eyes land properly on the book, he notices that it’s not about demons. It’s about magic. And Magnus already knows that Alec is looking for.

He sighs and puts the book down. He knows Alec won’t find anything. His magic is lost, they need to get over it. If the answer was in one of those books, Magnus would be happy to get through them. But with his father, there are no simple answers, that any resources might contain. He won’t settle for anything conventional. Asmodeus himself is unconventional, and his solutions always are too.

Magnus sits at the edge of the coffee table and reaches with his hand to sweep Alec’s hair from his forehead. Alec stirs awake at the gentle touch and a moment later his eyes flutter open, soft smile appearing on his face, when he sees his boyfriend.

“Hi.” His sleepy, hoarse voice makes Magnus smile.

“What are you doing, angel?” Even though Magnus knows, he wants to check if Alec will truly admit what he’s up to.

“Nothing, I’m just…” As he spots Magnus’ glare, he knows it’s pointless to hide it. “ Okay, I’ve been looking for some solution.”

Magnus sighs and gestures with his hand for Alec to scoot on a couch, so he can lay beside him. He gets settle, facing his boyfriend so there’s no inch of space between them. The space of the couch is too small, but none of them seems to mind.

“I told you to let this go.” Magnus says, creasing Alec’s cheek lightly.

“I know, but I just thought…” Alec exhales heavily. “I thought I could maybe find something in here. And it’s not a trouble for me to-“

“It is, Alec. You need to sleep, to rest.” Magnus insists, because it’s true. He shouldn’t stay up all night looking for solutions that don’t exist. Especially for Magnus.

“I’m fine.” Alec assures him with a smile that is followed with a quick peck on a lips.

“Well, I am too.” Magnus lies, because he hasn’t been fine since a long time. But he needs Alec to believe it.

A task that he’s clearly failing at, because Alec frowns his brows and eyes him curiously, like he always does when he knows Magnus is lying.

But before he gets to speak or protest, Magnus decides it’s a good idea to change the subject.

“I was worried when I woke up and you weren’t there.” He admits, because it’s true, and because he really needed to get this off his chest. He’s been trying to open up to Alec, to tell him how he feels. Somehow this might be a step in a right direction, even though he’s still not ready.

“I’m sorry,” Alec snuggles even closer, so his head rests under Magnus’ chin and throws his arm around his middle. “I didn’t want to wake you with all this.” He briefly gestures at the coffee table. “And I guess I just dozed off.”

“Which is another prove that you are tired.” Magnus states, and Alec pulls slightly to look at him.

“What was the first one?” He frowns his brows in question.

“The first one, is that I just know it.” Magnus brings him back into their improvised hug, and inhales deeply, the scent of sandalwood still present in Alec hair.

They stay like this for a long while, and Magnus can tell Alec is almost falling asleep again. He, however knows that sleep won’t come any time soon. He’s unsteady now. Alec is fine and it was bold of him to assume he would leave, but still he can’t stand the thought of another nightmare appearing when he’ll close his eyes.

Next to him, Alec writhes a little and then asks.

“You won’t let me get back to that, will you?”

Magnus shakes his head, which he’s sure Alec can feel through the lack of any room between them, but still he speaks anyway.

“No. Not a chance.”

Alec sighs, but slowly nods in understanding.

“In that case, let’s move back to the bedroom.” He resorts and unclenches his head from underneath Magnus’ chin. “I won’t listen to you complaining about how it’s my fault that you back aches tomorrow.”

He smiles and leans in to quickly place a soft kiss to Magnus’ nose. Magnus smiles at the gesture and then gets up from the couch, holding his hand to Alec, which he takes and squeezes lightly. Hand in hand they walk back to the bedroom, and only when Magnus lays his head on Alec’s chest, feels the steady beat of his heartbeat, he calms down a little bit.

“You know I love you, right?” These words are followed with a kiss on the top of Magnus’ head.

“Of course, angel.” Magnus smiles and hugs him a bit tighter. “I love you too.”

And even though sleep never comes, and that he finds Alec on the couch surrounded by books the next night, and the next one, he’s content with watching his Shadowhunter, peaceful in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave some kudos, if you liked it. As always, let me know what you think in the comments :)


	4. Too worked up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus have a conversation about Alec returning to the haunts after losing his job. Set after Chapter V, mentioned in Chapter VI.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> Since the main story for this got 3000 hits, here's a new extra :) Thanks for all the love and support <3

“No. Absolutely not.”

Magnus stands in a kitchen, arms clasped tightly on his chest and he’s looking back at Alec with an expression of stubbornness mixed with disbelief.

“Magnus, you know this is how it goes-“

“No, not in this case. Not when you almost died a few weeks ago!”

Magnus sighs in irritation and turns his back to Alec, returning to the task of preparing their tea, but Alec knows he does it just to hide from him.

He walks up to him, wrapping his arms around his waist and placing a kiss at the back of his neck.

His boyfriend sighs again and his head falls back on Alec’s shoulder. He can feel him get relaxed, but only a little bit.

It feels like they’ve been talking about it for hours. They have, probably, but Alec was cutting the conversation short, when Magnus was getting too worked up. But not this time. This time, he needs Magnus to lay it all out, all his concerns. Alec is not changing his mind. He lost his job as a Head of The Institute, but it doesn’t mean he’s not a Shadowhunter anymore. He is, and he needs to continue to do his duty. To fight demons and protect mundanes.

But it doesn’t mean he’ll just jump into a fight right ahead. Not without talking to Magnus first, especially when he knows how worried he is. They’re always honest with each other, they trust each other, and after Magnus has opened up to him about his feelings after the magic loss, there are no secrets.

So now, he needs Magnus to stay open, to just talk to him, why he’s still so worried.

“Babe, I’ll be fine.” Alec whispers gently against his ear.

Magnus turns around in his arms and cups his face with both of his palms.

“You can’t know that.” He says and Alec’s pretty sure there are tears threating to flow out at the corners of his eyes.

Alec’s heart nearly cracks at the sight of his lover being so vulnerable and broken. He gathers him up in his arms, pressing a kiss at the top of his head. They stay like this for a while. Just holding each other. Then Alec pulls back lightly and suggest.

“Let’s just sit and talk, okay?”

Magnus nods and picks up their cups of tea from the counter, heading towards the living room.

 

The tea is too hot, but Alec still takes a sip, enjoying the slight burn it sends down his throat. None of them is eager to start the conversation again. Alec doesn’t want to see the wrecked expression at his lover’s face. But it’s better for them to talk now, than to argue every day when he comes back from missions.

“You know I’m all healed up, right?” Alec begins, then takes another sip of his tea. “And I’ll be careful, I always ‘m.”

Magnus doesn’t say anything, hiding his expression in his own cup of tea.

“It might actually do me some good.” Alec continues, seeing that his boyfriend is not willing to give him any answers.

Then Magnus snorts, and a brief laugh escapes his lips.

“ _Some good_? Alec, do you hear what you’re saying?” He asks in disbelief.

“Yeah, I do.” Alec states seriously. He’s done with that. With hiding. There’s no point, and maybe if he shows Magnus that’s it’s okay to let this all out, he’ll do the same. “Because with all this anger I’ve been feeling boiling up inside of me recently, I can do some good. I can channel it into those monsters out there, I can find at least a bit of release in it.”

He puts his cup down on a coffee table with a loud tap, the frustration raising inside him. Not at Magnus, because he gets that he’s worried, but at this whole situation.

“Alexander-“ Magnus tries to reach for his hand in an attempt to calm him, his expression turning more gentle.

But Alec’s too worked up now, when he starts talking it doesn’t seem like he could stop. He knows he can let himself be vulnerable with Magnus, knows it’s safe to tell him everything that’s on his mind without the fear of judging.

“Training doesn’t help, shooting arrows doesn’t help. And I hate it, I hate the way I feel.” Alec carries on, his voice dripping with defeat, but at his next words he turns more calm. “I hate the way it makes you feel.”

Magnus lets out a long exhale, setting his tea cup next to Alec’s on the table and snuggling closer to him. Alec lets his head fall on Magnus’ chest, sighing heavily.

“I know it’s hard for you, darling.” Magnus finally says after a while. His hand makes its way to Alec’s hair, running through it lightly.  “And I’m getting you all worked up again-“

“No, it’s not your fault.” Alec quickly interrupts, because he can’t have Magnus blaming himself for Alec’s lack of control over his emotions. “I just want something to feel right.”

“Oh, angel.” Magnus tightens his arms around him, and Alec feels tears beginning to form in his eyes. He wants to spend the rest of his days in Magnus’ arms. Recently it’s the only place he feels safe in, and when the world turns against them, he knows he can find shelter in his lover’s warm embrace.

But still, he needs to fight. To do his job, to protect the world.

Even when the person he wants to protect the most is right next to him.

“Let’s say I’ll agree with you going back to the haunts.” Magnus starts and Alec pulls back a bit to look at him. “Can you promise me a few things?”

“Yeah, anything.” Alec answers, nodding.

“First, you need to call me to check in every hour.” Alec opens his mouth to protest, but Magnus slightly waves his hand to indicate for him to let him continue. “I just need to know you’re okay, darling. I won’t stand waiting for you every day, not knowing if you’ll turn up soaking with blood, or even worse.”

That seems fair. Alec can deal with it, calling won’t be such a problem if it’ll make Magnus feel at least a slight bit of relief.

So he nods, letting Magnus know to carry on.

“If you forget, I’ll come dragging  you back here and locking you up, till the Clave gets their senses back.” Magnus’ voice is firm, so Alec’s pretty sure he’s not joking. “Do you understand?”

Alec manages a small nod again and Magnus sighs as he puts his hands around Alec’s neck.

“I’m sorry, angel.” He places a tender kiss to his forehead. “I don’t want to sound awful, but I’m just so worried and scared-“

“I get it.” Alec replies softly, because he does. “It’s fine. I’ll be calling, I promise.”

Magnus smiles lightly at that, sweeping Alec’s hair from his forehead.

“Just promise to always call for backup, when it becomes too much.” He says, stroking Alec’s cheeks with his thumbs. “You don’t need to handle everything on your own.”

Alec nods again, smiling back at him.

“And just please,” Magnus’ tone is serious, but Alec can see that inside he’s shaking, when he closes his eyes to quickly compose himself. “please, be extremely careful.”

Alec’s heart swells at the worry and concern Magnus shows for him. So he leans down and kisses him, slowly and lingering which pretty much gives him all the assurance that he needs, but still, when they part Alec states,

“I will, I swear.”

Magnus lets out a shaky breath. The decision is done. And he hopes none of them will regret it.

They stay on the couch for a long time. Trading soft kisses and tender touches, just holding each other close. Again, forgetting about this whole mess around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed some worried Magnus and our boys communicating :)


	5. Never less worried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace’s and Izzy’s mission to get water from Lake Lyn in Idris. Set during Chapter X and Chapter XI.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,  
> as promised here is a quick extra. Hope you'll enjoy it :)

After convincing Alec to go, Izzy leaves the office and heads straight to the armoury. She quickly gathers up her whip, a Seraph blade and a flask. All ready to go, she goes towards the portal.

“Isabelle!” She hears Simon’s voice and immediately turns, to see him quickly catching up to her. “I’ve just called Luke, he’ll be here soon.”

“Good.” Izzy states, but before she gets to take another step forward, Simon is catching her hand in his. She smiles at him and returns the hold.

“Just,” Simon starts, his gaze wanders to their joined palms, clearly avoiding her eyes, like he’s afraid of how she might react to his next words. “be careful, okay? I know you can handle it. You’re all badass and everything, but I’m just-“

Isabelle chuckles at his rumbling, she takes a step forward and kisses Simon lightly on the lips.

He seems surprised, but kisses back, still not letting go of her hand.

“I’ll be fine.” She says when they pull away, but remain close together. “I’ll find Jace as soon as I can, I won’t be alone.” Simon finally looks at her, pure concern in his eyes, and Izzy’s sure none of her pervious boyfriends had shown that much worry for her, so she adds. “Don’t worry. I got this.”

“I know.” Simon smiles and his thumb starts creasing small circles to the skin of her hand. “But I’m always worried about you.”

At that, Izzy’s grin widens and she pecks him on the lips on last time.

“I’ll be back soon.” She’s almost entering the portal now. “We’re going to free her from this bastard.”

And then, she’s stepping through.

 

Idris looks the same as always. She appears in front of the big fancy headquarters and immediately walks in to look for Jace. The trial is supposed to be done by now. She paces through the big hallways, and then finally, her eyes spot her brother as he’s heading to the hallway opposite her.

“Jace!” She calls out and he turns, eyes widening in surprise, he quickly makes his way up to her, his expression worried.

“What are you doing here?” He asks when he reaches her. “Is everything okay? Is Clary-“

“She’s fine.” Izzy says cutting him off. “Now.”

“What the hell does that mean, Iz?!” His voice nervous and comes out much higher than usual.

“It doesn’t matter now.” Izzy states firmly, and when Jace opens his mouth to protest, she cuts straight to the point. “What matters is, that we found a way to destroy the bond.”

Jace’s eyes widen is shock and surprise and he tugs Isabelle closer by the forearm, already walking her out of the building from the prying ears. 

 

“What are you talking about? What way? What about Clary-“ Jace floods her with questions as soon as they leave the building.

Isabelle sighs, and when she makes sure they’re quite away, so no one can hear them, she begins to explain.

“We figured out that water from Lake Lyn can erase the connection.”

“Okay.” Jace tries to wrap his head around it, shaking it a little. “But how?”

Izzy bites her lip in consternation, because she knows that what she’s about to say will only bring another wave of questions.

“Clary had a vision from the Angel.”

“Clary had-“ Jace looks at her in pure confusion. “Wait, what?”

“Jace,” Isabelle shakes him a little. “Clary is fine, okay? Stop worrying for a second and actually listen to me. Please.”

“Yeah, okay. Right.” Her brother says at one breath and then tries to sum it all up, clearly processing the information. “Clary had a vision from _the_ Angel, and he told her water from Lake Lyn will destroy the bond?”

Izzy nods and then adds.

“Well, more like he showed her. But yes, that’s how it goes.”

Jace nods slowly and Izzy is sure she can see the thoughts rushing in his mind though his eyes.

“How do we know it’s true?” He asks after a moment. “I mean, Jonathan shares a part of her mind, what if he-“

“Jonathan tried to break her connection with the Angel, so she wouldn’t see the vision.” Izzy interrupts. “If he would give her the vision, he wouldn’t try to stop it-“

“Wait, try how?” Jace asks holding his hand out, indicating for her to stop.

Isabelle lets out a deep breath and looks away from him. There really isn’t time for that, but when she sees how worried he is, she just knows she needs to explain. Better to do it here, so Jace won’t actually cause much of a scene, since they’re still in public of Idris.

“He, um…” She starts. “He put her through something resembling a panic attack… she couldn’t breathe and-“ Jace looks even more worried and terrified at her words.

“All right, we’re going home, I need to make sure-“

“Jace! She's fine, Alec helped her through it.”

They have a mission to settle here. They can’t go back now. No matter how worried Jace is, this is for the greater good, for saving Clary from this monster.

“Alec and Simon are with her. Magnus, mom and Luke have probably arrived by now, they will take care of her, Jace. We need to get the water, and get out of here.”

“But-“ Her brother tires to protest, but Izzy stops him again.

“No. Look we need to break this bond for good. A blocking rune helped a bit during this attack, but it isn’t enough. This is our chance, Jace. We need to try it.”

Jace exhales slowly and nods.

“You’re right, let’s go. The sooner we get it, the sooner we can go back.” He states and Izzy smiles at him.

“Lead the way, brother.”

 

She mostly remembers the woods from the time she came here to save Jace and Clary when they were looking for Jonathan and Valentine. But still, the roads are twisted and she can’t recall much. Luckily, Jace seems to know the way perfectly.

They walk in silence for a bit, when suddenly Izzy is reminded of the reason why her brother was here in the first place.

“Hey, how was the trial?” She asks, but is looks as if Jace registers her words only after a while, like she pulled him out of his thoughts.

“What?” He starts, but then shakes his head a little to come back to the present. “Oh, yeah. It was fine, just a formality, like Alec said. The truth did come out.” He smiles lightly at her and then adds. “By the way, how exactly did he manage to get Clary through this attack?”

Isabelle thinks for a moment, as the continue walking. She doesn’t really know the answer. He basically just talked to her, but there’s gotta be something more, right?

“I don’t really know.” She replies honestly. “He just talked her through it. Guess our brother still has his soothing voice.” She laughs briefly and Jace does too.

“Right,” he says. His eyes are laughing now, but she can also notice a lot of gratitude for thier brother in them. No only for saving Clary today, but for everything he's ever done for them. “Remember when he used to talk us down when we were children, or read us to sleep? He always managed to calm us down. No matter what. And he’s only two years older!” Jace grins at her, and she has no other choice than to happily reciprocate.

“He must still acquire this quality.” Izzy smirks.

“God, can you imagine how he’ll be with his own children? They would be actual angels!” Jace laughs more confidently now, and Isabelle finds herself laughing too.

“We really got lucky with our brother.” She states after a while, more seriously.

“Yes, we did.” Jace agrees with her softly.

They walk the rest of the route in content silence, with smiles placed on their faces.

 

Finally, they reach the edge of the woods, seeing the horizon in front of them, the clear as a tear water of Lake Lyn reflecting the sun beautifully. Then Izzy is prompted by yet another thought. And she feels the guilt raising in her gut.

“Are you actually okay with being here?” She asks Jace, because she just remembered that the last time he was there, he actually _died_.

He seems to get what she’s talking about, because his expression turns more stern, but when he turns to look at Izzy, he smiles and tries to reassure her.

“Yeah, I’m good.” He says. “It feels like ages ago.”

Isabelle takes his hand and smiles back. Then, they just stay like this for a little while. Looking at the steady waters below them.

“Is it even legal?” Jace asks then. “To steal water for the ‘holy lake’?”

Izzy chuckles as she answers.

“Like you would care.” She looks at him with raised eyebrows. “Are you turning into our beloved big brother?”

“Huh, sometimes I wish.” Jace answers with a laugh. “But you’re right, I don’t really care. Everything for Clary.”

They carefully get to the edge of the water, and Izzy pulls out the flask, and tilts it, so the water slowly floats into it.

“How much of it do we need?” Jace questions.

“I’ll just get this bottle full. I don’t really know. Should be enough.” She smiles and recaps the vessel. “All done. Now, let’s go back so you can stop worry about your girlfriend.”

“I don’t think it will make me stop worrying, but you’re right, let’s get out of here. I don’t like this place that much.”

Izzy nods as they stand back from the ground, and then follows Jace back into the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to show Jace's reaction to this whole thing that happened to Clary, so here it is! On the way I got kinda sappy with the family feels, and also a bit of Sizzy… Thank for reading, let me know what you think!


	6. He won’t do this alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec’s family worries about him after they find out what happened to Magnus. Set during Chapter XIV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An extra, as promised. Some outlook on how the family feels with Magnus being gone, and Alec being broken. Plus, some bits of sizzy, since I just can't wait to see them in the show :)

Izzy doesn’t want to leave the room.

It hurts like hell to see her brother like that, and only to think about Magnus… She can’t leave her big brother alone with this. If she’s hurting so much, she can’t even imagine how he feels.

Jace is the first one at the door, clearly sensing that Alec won’t take no as answer. His eyes are pleading, but Alec’s gaze is sharp, and Isabelle swears he can hear the resign sigh escaping Jace’s lips. Clary follows right behind him, but Izzy still can’t find herself to move. Then her mother takes a few steps towards her, leans in and whispers,

“We can’t do anything now. Let’s give him some time.”

Then Simon comes up to her, and takes her hand in something that might be a reassuring gesture, but the Vampire clearly needs it as much as her. As a few more tears escape her eyes she moves to get out of the room, shooting one last look at her brother, but their eyes don’t meet.

They expect Catarina to leave the room during the next minute, but she doesn’t. She has a right to. Magnus and her have been friends for centuries and Izzy can’t fathom how devastated she is. Also, she’s just as stubborn as Alec, or not even more. If she wants to stay, she will.

Isabelle has never seen Alec in such state. Sure, he did have panic attacks, quite often when they were younger. She witnessed a lot of them, but today nothing was able to bring him out of it. To that point, that he needed an actual physical pain to start breathing right.

This memory brings a new wave of tears into her eyes. They’re all in the hallway outside the office, not daring to get too far away in case Alec would need any support. Izzy feels herself shaking as another sob overcomes her, and then she finds herself in Simon’s embrace. He hugs her tightly and she’s clutching onto his t-shirt but it doesn’t bring much comfort. He doesn’t say that it’s gonna be okay, and she’s glad he doesn’t, because in this moment nothing feels like it would be okay.

When she get composed enough she pulls back, and attempts to give Simon a smile, but she knows she’s failing. She takes in the rest of her family. Jace has tears silently streaming down his cheeks, Clary sits next to him, holding his hand, but still, her gaze reminds hollow too. Maryse has hidden herself in Luke’s embrace, but Izzy knows she’s still crying. She’s pretty sure she doesn’t look any better.

How could they let this happen? How could they just leave it be? Not check on Magnus after this whole mess calmed down. They defeated Jonathan. _Magnus_ defeated Jonathan. And still they went celebrating, sure everything was fine. They didn’t want to push Magnus to tell them anything, it was better that he would just talk to Alec first, but if they knew… Maybe they wouldn’t be able to stop him, but they’d be able to say goodbye…

Alec’s screaming voice from behind the door makes Isabelle flinch and stops the process of her thinking. She can’t make out what her brother is saying, but at least he’s saying something. Basically his first words since he came here. Isabelle exhales heavily and turns to hide her face in Simons chest.

 

After what feels like a lifetime, suddenly Catarina emerges from the room. All eyes turn to her, Jace with Clary and Maryse with Luke are quickly making their way closer, to listen to anything she might have to say.

“How is he?” Maryse asks, when Cat doesn’t say anything for a while.

“He is…” Catarina sighs and speaks without further ado. “He’s broken. There’s really nothing else to say.”

Maryse lets out another sob and then she’s back in Luke’s arms.

But what should they expect? Magnus is his life, his everything, and with him gone, Alec practically loses any will to keep going. It’s scary how he can get attached to one person, but it’s how Alec is. When he loves, he loves with his whole existence. Once and fiercely. 

“He needs to rest.” Jace states after a moment. “He’ll kill himself if he keeps going like that.”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to persuade him to do it now.” Cat resorts. “He said it himself, he won’t be able to get any rest. He won’t stop until he finds a way to get him back.”

“And what if he can’t?!” Jace snaps. “What if there isn’t a way?”

“Jace, you can’t think like that.” Clary puts her hand on his arm, rubbing it up and down in a reassuring gesture. “Besides, it’s not Catarina’s fault, there’s no point in snapping at her.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” He turns to Cat again, an apologetic expression on his face. “I’m just really worried about him.”

“We all are.” Catarina directs her words to all of them. “But right now, we need to let him do some work, he’ll get tired soon enough, then we convince him to rest.”

They all know Alec, and are aware that it won’t be simple to do that, but now he’s too worked up, and he’ll barely even speaks to them. Cat’s right, that’s what they need to do.

“I’m going to get him so coffee…” The Warlock says and heads towards the kitchen, but then says. “You try to get some rest too, I’m sure Alec wouldn’t want you to get exhausted because of him. Neither would Magnus.”

Her voice breaks at the last words, and she steps away from them quickly, so they don’t get to see her tears.

 

Soon, Catarina returns, and they agree for her to go back to the office alone. They know how Alec hates being seen so broken by his family. Cat is his family too, but still, if one person can come in it should be her. She seems to hold up the best. Izzy would love to know how she does it.

So the rest stays outside the office. Only to soon after Catarina enters, they hear another wave of yelling from behind closed doors. Izzy slumps down in her chair, hand still not leaving Simon’s and they do all they can. Which is wait.

“We’ll find a way.” Simon whispers to her, managing for the most positive tone he can now. “We’ll help him, right?”

“Of course we will.” Isabelle answers without hesitation. There’s no way she’s leaving her big brother alone with all this. “Let’s just wait, till some emotions get settled.”

“You’re right.” Simon’s words are followed with a kiss placed on his forehead, and Izzy realises how much better it feels to have Simon near her now.

After they lost Clary, Isabelle became a rock for Simon. She didn’t mind, all that matter was helping her friend. She always thought that she was affected the least by that night. Sure, she lost a friend, her brother got hurt by her other brother, but somehow she was still holding up. Of course, she broke at the sight of Alec bleeding out with an arrow in his chest, or every time she saw the guilt in Jace’s eyes. But it wasn’t the worst. Simon, however… He thought he killed his best friend he has known since forever. Isabelle knew she needed to help him, at least a bit. And something started to develop between them, something she hasn’t felt before. When Simon and Maia broke up, and he was pretty down at that time, Izzy was there to pick him up. And a few weeks later, somehow they just became _this_. _Them_.

And she’s really grateful to have him now, to help her get through this.

Next minutes pass by in silence, and then Catarina slips from the office, closing the door behind her. Instantly, everyone gather up around her.

“We, uhm…” She starts and clears her throat awkwardly. “We found a way to get to Edom.”

“Already?” Luke asks. He’s shocked as much as everyone at that statement. But Izzy can see something in Cat’s eyes, something familiar to guilt, but she doesn’t ask, not now.

“Yes, but first we need a plan.” She resorts. “To get any kind of deal with Asmodeus, we need something he would want to have, so we can trade. Alec’s already on it but-“

“He won’t do this alone.” Izzy states firmly. “We need to take care of him, if he doesn’t want to take care of himself.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” Catarina sighs. “Maybe you can convince him to get a break?” She directs her words to Isabelle.

“Oh, I can, and I will.”

With that, she quickly makes her way to the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! It's probably the last extra, since the story is coming to an end, but you never really know… Hope you enjoyed it :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it :) I will probably be writing more extras, 'cause there is some stuff that I want to add to the story or write in other POVs. As always, comments and kudos are appreciated :)


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